Rhinestone Theologian

There’s a shining new star on the theological horizon:

“I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don’t know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East — you’re as good as dead.”

Source: Elton John. (2010). ‘There’s A Lot Of Hate In The World’. Parade. Retrieved 20 February 2010 from http://www.parade.com/celebrity/celebrity-parade/2010/elton-john-web-exclusive.html.

I see yet another revision of Candle in the Wind in the pipeline:

Goodbye Jesus Christ

Though I never knew you at all

You had the grace to hold yourself

While those around you crawled

They crawled out of the woodwork

And they whispered into your brain

They set you on the treadmill

And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a candle in the wind

Never knowing who to cling to

When the rain set in

And I would have liked to have known you

But I was just a kid

Your candle burned out long before

Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough

The toughest role you ever played

Hollywood created a superstar

And pain was the price you paid

Even when you died

Oh the press still hounded you

All the papers had to say

Was that the Nazarene was found in the nude

Goodbye Jesus Christ

From the young man in the 22nd row

Who sees you as something as more than sexual

More than just our holy homo

4 thoughts on “Rhinestone Theologian

  1. you’re terrible muriel…as the movie goes…when muriel is rebellious and irreverent ! and then there was monty python taking the mickey outta the flock, not the messiah…but the masses interpretation of his sermons !

    and now of course there is the fella on the sunshine coast who is back “teaching the word of jesus” ..and says he remembers when he was giving sermons a century ago…i know, go figure ?

    i came across his “literature” on divinetruth.com…don’t ask me why…i did move to byron bay…and there are messiahs everywhere ..aaaaaaghh.

    1. Yes, this little throwaway post even prompted a comment from my mother (“M”, above), who had previously done a very good job of not commenting upon my online activity (unless SHE’s the one anonymously baiting me in other venues…).

      When I eventually abandon these fruitless attempts at spiritual criticism to reveal my own messianic role in the world (and thereby paying off my mortgage), there will no doubt be another Pythonesque moment: “He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy”. I know of two other guru-types who had this happen.

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